Drive On In

Reagan and I decided that it would be a most stupendous idea to go to a Drive-In Movie theater. Well the one we found was an hour and a half drive from Dallas, and of course I was running late. I got stuck on 635…imagine that. Well, before we left I made sure to print directions off the internet on how to get there, but I didn’t check to make sure that the font wasn’t negative 54. It was so small Reagan gave me the ever so important job of co-pilot. Little did he realize that I am easily distracted. About 20 minutes into the drive, I find Reagan’s 80’s Mega Hits CD. And well I just had to get down in some of that. So during my rendition of “Come on Eileen” (complete with dance moves) we made a wrong turn. Once back on track I decided to pump up the jams once more and began to belt out a Men at Work tune. Reagan had had enough. He made me turn it down, hand over the directions and revoked my first mate privileges. Finally we get there and it is so packed we have to park in the back. We open the back of his Jeep and turn our radio to the station that played the movie. The movie that was playing was “The Village” We were so far back, I couldn’t even see Joaquin Phoenix’s harelip. (And believe you me; one has to be quite far away to not notice that.) I decided to make a bathroom trip and almost fell on the dirt road I was attempting to follow. After I steadied myself I by holding onto the side of a truck I realized that the occupants of said truck were having sex. Outside. In the bed of a truck. I saw a naked butt in the nighttime air. Then I started looking around…there were people everywhere making out. Man, I wish we had a drive in pretty close when we were in high school. People had laid mattresses in the backs of trucks and blankets on the grass everywhere you looked. Couples were making out side by side with other couples, shirtless sweaty backs touching each other. It was enough to want a cigarette. “The Village” was not such a great movie, but the crowd was quite entertaining. Trying to find our way out of Nowhere, Texas we hit up the Jack in The Box for a few chicken strips…which I ate too fast and had a stomach ache for the rest of the night. We got lost on the way home….