I love you so hard.

So, Matt Rinker and I have been having an ongoing battle of who can get the last laugh since about 7th grade. We put activities on the back burner for a while until Sunday where he began a thumping war. I cannot thump. My fingers are very skilled in many areas, but not in thumping. So I did the next best thing and started slapping. This went on into the evening and got more and more severe. I ended up with a huge bruise on the back half of me, and he may not be able to produce children now. So, rather than leaving well enough alone he calls my work taunting me and laughing about my inability to sit down. So I go to the store and purchase 6 rolls of Saran Wrap. Robin and I wrap his whole truck with it. Then I wrote in shaving cream on the windshield “I love you so hard!” Extremely Middle School, but harmless. Well Robin and I decide to go have a couple of beers then wait around to see what happens when Matt comes home. Back at his house Matt’s girlfriend Amanda shows up. We go back up to the store and when we reach Matt’s we see everyone outside around Matt’s Truck. Also, we see a crazed Matt frantically looking for something. He pulls out a tire pressure gauge and lets the air out of three of Amanda’s tires! She had nothing to do with it and he takes it out on her. Well the neighbor comes outside and starts yelling and it is now that we realize that Matt is indeed intoxicated. He begins to yell profanity at the neighbor, and then refers to Amanda and me as Lesbians. So I leave. Well by the end of the night, an air horn was let off, the cops were called and a drunken confession of love was made by Matt to Amanda. Who would have thought that a discussion that started at Pei Wei would get so out of hand? I love you so hard.